Everything & Anything

Today, I thought of how my life has turned out and I got to thinking of all the things I'd prayed for and how God did not answer some of those prayers. And, all I could think was, "Thank you God for NOT answering those prayers!" Some were crazy, others downright stupid. Many were silly, probably shallow. But one stands out. I wanted children so much after I got married - wanted to have them early, by the time I was 30 (I was 25 and a half when I got married) so that at 40, my kids would be teenagers at the very least and I would be this hip Mom. I prayed and reminded God almost everyday for the first 6 years of my marriage. He did not answer me. I decided not to ask anymore - I figured He had decided no kids for me. Fast forward, first to 2007 (exactly 14 years after my hubby and I had our engagement ceremony) and the arrival of our precious daughter, whose name represents the faith of everyone but mine and the arrival of our equally precious son 18 months later; and se...

Last week, I had a very interesting conversation with a few friends and acquaintances, men and women, all married (but not to each other). The conversation centred around extra-marital affairs and the reasons they happen. The men mostly held that a man having an affair was not as big a deal as women made it out to be - the man did not love his wife any less and the affairs are mostly about sex. My question then was "If a man is getting sex from his wife, whenever and however he wants it, would he still have an affair?" The answer was "probably" and jokes were made about how it was hard for a man to resist the lure of variety. Imagine the outrage of the females present - were the men implying that the human male was no different from animals and lacked restraint? And what was that crap about not loving their wives any less? So, why would a woman have an affair? For affection and attention - sex was simply a side effect. Also, for revenge, for all the pain she has ...

The pressures, oh, the pressures of being a Nigerian woman. And, no, it is not in the juggling of careers, family and personal dreams; rather, it is in the matter of fashion and grooming! Compared to the Nigerian woman, the peacock, even with the "gloriousness" of his plumage is dowdy and badly turned out! From the top of her "weave" through her ruthlessly colour-coded outfit to the tips of her false toe nails, the "Naija" babe (and "babe" does not connote "young") is meticulously turned out. I have gone from dowdy to "fairly-funky-and-sometimes-sexy" in the space of 12 or so years. And it was because the pressures of being judged by other women that did it! That galls, but, hey, I'm cuter for it, so..... Being invited for any function is a palpitation inducing occasion. Who's going to be there? What'll everyone be wearing? (by everyone, I mean the other women) You look through your wardrobe - is that designer ba...

"Vengeance is mine" says the Lord. Don't you just sizzle with rage when someone quotes this to you in the middle of a very satisfying rant on how you shall get back at the erstwhile friend/neighbour/family member/colleague/PERSON who has deliberately caused you pain by deeds or words? Well, I do. And not to be disobedient, rude, irreverent or even blasphemous, I say "And I am His instrument!" Yep. Why not? After all, if God is to exact that vengeance, He will use someone or something, so why can't that someone (or something!) be me? I believe in revenge, retribution, justice, vengeance or whatever fancy word people may want to use. I think it is educational and because, in my opinion, until the offender experiences the pain they have set out to cause, they have no real understanding of the magnitude of the effect of their actions. "Learning by Experience" is what I call it. And, revenge really is a dish best served cold.