My last post was May 12, 2019.

Wow.

Wow.

And again, Wow.

I haven’t written anything in three years. Except you count my WhatsApp responses to other people’s posts I think must be answered - people tend to say the darndest things and expect you to just accept it. 

Social media has become a platform for social reform and most often not for the better - fact and fiction, gems and drivel are merged to form a warped “truth” spewed out with conviction and not many bother to check what’s what. Intellectual slothfulness and an absence of social responsibility?

What’s that got to do with me writing? Nothing, lol. Just meandering - I am writing as I think, which means I jump back and forth between topics like a jumping jelly bean!

Back to why I haven’t been writing. It’s not writer’s block in that I was trying to write but couldn’t, but more like I did not want to. Let me explain - my writing was always a function of my emotional state, and that state has been, well, let’s just use the Naija “ground no level” parlance to describe where I’ve been. I’m not sure that “ground don level” but I’m taking steps to “level” it, one of which is trying to write again.

Let me share a little. The Covid pandemic literally made the world screech to a halt, bringing with it the attendant problems of any moving object suddenly and unintentionally stopping - accidents and casualties especially. For me, it gave me time to do a “gap analysis” of my life - and where I was wasn’t where I wanted to be. The realization also that I had not followed my life plan because I’d made decisions - deliberately, maybe not always wisely - to deviate from that original plan made me question many things in my life.

I doubt that I was alone in this discovery; the surge in, and focus on mental health issues is probably a result of the sheer number of people who, being unceremoniously thrown off of the rat race wheel of life, suddenly having time to review and rethink their existences and realizing that “their ground no too level!”

Writing that should  have been a panacea became too painful - all I could write about was my misery and regret and failure, which just made me more miserable! So, I stopped. Now, I’m in a better place and ready to face the misery, regret and feelings of failure. I’m not sure how much I can share but I hope that I can write about my struggles to get to where I want to be.

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