Everything & Anything

Lots of things peeve me and a lack of manners probably ranks way up there on my peeve-o-metre! And, it alarms me also to realize that most people who exhibit this lack are totally oblivious to the fact that they have acted in a way that is rude and/or uncouth. Today, I was at Genesis Cinema at The Palms shopping mall at Lekki, waiting in line to make enquiries and to pay for a purchase when this young lady casually strolls by me, (I was next to be served and also at the end of the queue) walks up to the counter as the person ahead of me was done and starts telling the attendant what movie ticket she wishes to purchase. Now, I am not of a nondescript or tiny stature so she could not possibly have NOT seen me standing there. So, what was she thinking? Well, I step right up beside her, almost touching her. She turns to look at me, and before she can utter a word, I inform her, very sweetly, that there is a queue. She looks perplexed (so I can only assume that either her hearing is impair...

As parents, we are responsible for the well being of our children - their health, their needs both physical and psychological and everything else that goes into them being regular, normal and well adjusted kids. And, we generally take that responsibility seriously, or believe we do. Why then do we not realize the effect of not censoring the kind of programmes our children watch and the amount of time spent in front of the TV? A lot of us, I suspect, do not really believe that a toddler of say, two years, can be affected by or learn anything from watching adult programmes. For those people, I have to remind them that most children are like sponges, soaking up and absorbing everything in their environment - the good and the bad. Programmes, language - spoken & unspoken (aka 'body language, behaviour; anything and EVERYTHING that occur that they see, hear and observe is learned by them. So, letting a two year old watch Africa Magic, or E! is NOT proper. Neither is letting a nin...

It has been a week since my last entry. Why? A myriad of reasons - power supply, a really sluggish and annoying internet connection on a supposed broadband speed - dial up is faster, let me tell you. Also, a cold that turned out to be, as usual, a thoroughly miserable experience. Why do colds make you feel like you're going to die and soon? All that misery from being congested, sweaty (and yet unable to use the air conditioning) and feeling like someone is driving a freight train round and round in your head? It just makes you want to curl up and die! And "writer's block" - very simply, nothing came to mind. Guess I was too steeped in the melancholy of misery and wallowing in the self pity that comes with brief and minor illnesses. Anyway, cold is gone, banished by time and copious amounts of chicken pepper soup, fiery enough to totally singe not just the taste buds but your entire digestive system. No, I did not take extra doses of vitamin C. It's a myth that t...

I wrote this a while back as my contribution to a discussion on integrity, or the lack thereof, in our nation's leaders and citizens. The word 'Integrity' or, rather, the more popular phrase, 'lack of integrity' is often bandied amongst us when we are, yet again, complaining about our politicians, some nouveau-riche people, public servants or some business partner or colleague who has been less than upfront in their dealings with us. But how often, if ever, do we wonder how much integrity we have or lack? How much of it comes into play in our personal dealings? Will our driver or maid say we have integrity or that we lack it? Will our children, if they can understand and grasp the meaning of the word, say we have it or lack it? Will our spouses, friends, family, if being totally honest confirm that we have integrity? We often renege on promises made, deals brokered, vows taken but we never really see that as lacking in integrity, do we? No, we ...

We've probably heard of the term "Get a life", and I am sure we have all chuckled, amused at the person at whom it is directed. I bet we would not be so amused if we were told the same thing! Mothers & wives are usually so engrossed in the lives of their families - their children in particular - that they do not realize that they have no life of their own. All their friends are either from the PTA or their husbands' friends. Everything, or at least, MOST things in their lives are about family. I am not saying that's a bad thing, but it is a dangerous thing. Imagine what happens when the children grow up and leave home? These women are at a loss and have nothing left. Hubby has his own life - men NEVER fall into that trap. Maybe it is selfish, but that's the way it is. They have their golf/tennis/squash games; their association meetings, clubs, babes, friends. And none of them are from the PTA! I have always been an advocate of women making time for no...

Just watching some supposed style critics on a Silverbird TV programme. The lady - Winifred, a style expert & Emeka Omar Yussuf, a style designer (WHAT is that?). Layole Oyatogun is the anchor, it seems. They're commenting on Stella Damasus's fashion faux pas. I would not have an issue with them if they were right on target or were themselves stylishly put together! The gentleman has glasses on that look like they were taken from Grandpa's stash of "undiscarded" spectacles (and that stash is going to be worth millions in the future as examples of prehistoric sight aids, judging from the sample Mr Yussuf wore!) and he looks like he was dragged backwards through the hedges surrounding their studio - that's how disheveled his clothing seemed - tie askew (that supposed to be stylishly loose, hmmmn?), waist coat not fitting well. As for Ms Winifred, her arms were not meant for the outfit she donned (or vice versa?). And why does she seem to be slouching??? An...

Remember when you thought you'd never get over the heartbreak? Someone just took your heart and trampled all over it and they just did not seem to care and you just could not understand why they could be so cruel. You'd sit around for days, so sad and miserable, listening to the sad and slow love songs that went on and on about unrequited love or heartbreak and you just KNEW your life would never be the same again, and that you could never love again. Now, fast forward to the present. You are sitting in the car and the radio is tuned to your favourite station and they're playing old, familiar songs and on comes a song. It's vaguely familiar and you're humming along, occasionally mumbling part of the lyrics. Then comes the chorus and your memory gets the jog it needs. WOW! It's that song you played over and over when......what was his/her name now? Temi? Teni? Tope?.... broke up with you. And you laugh out loud, really amused and HAPPY!! Because it has just da...

AGEING (or Aging) an intransitive verb meaning 1 : to become old : show the effects or the characteristics of increasing age 2 : to acquire a desirable quality (as mellowness or ripeness) by standing undisturbed for some time. Merriam-Webster.com Age. It advances upon us stealthily, with us being unaware of the passage of our youth. One day, as we go to bed, we are young, supple and filled with energy and zest and the next we wake up having to stretch out suddenly creaky, crackly and sometimes painful joints before we can take the first step to starting our day. And as we stretch, trying to work out the kinks, we wonder when this happened. I was never one of those "active" youths - I often preferred to recline on my bed, alone with a book. Though I loved walking, I only did it if it was absolutely necessary, which it was if I wanted to get anywhere on the university campus I grew up on. Up until I was about 17, the only means of transport for us young ones were our le...

Just remembered - to the people who condemn the likes of the Harry Potter series. I wish to remind these very people that they found nothing wrong (and many still do not, strangely!) with the Enid Blyton books we grew up reading. Remember the Folk of the Faraway Tree?

Came across a new word today. I love words (guess that much is obvious!!!) but I try to keep most of the "big grammar" in my head since there's no point using words that no-one really knows the meaning of (or cares, really!). I have this book - okay, okay YSho & Co, I will confess - I have so many books I have no space to put them so they're in suitcases, cartons, stacked on the tables, on the floor (some against the wall, some not). Anyway, I have this book called 100 Words Every Word Lover Should Know and yesterday I happened to be flicking idly through it and feeling smug that I had not seen any word that I had never seen or heard of before, even if I was not sure of the origin and/or the meaning (I always like to know the origin of a word - original language, it's evolution, etc) and suddenly, there's a, to me, totally new word that I had never seen nor heard of before. And was it long or what? I must say, very proudly too, that once I pronounced the ...

And this was the second. Also on Ezine.com Come on people, Google me! I google myself. I am always chuffed to see my name out there. Makes me feel sorta famous! 2007 is coming to an end. Is it me, or did the year fly by? It seems like yesterday that it was New Year's day. A day tinged with a little bit of sorrow and regret for things gone by - people no longer with us, things and opportunities lost, broken relationships, decisions we made knowing we should not have, people we have disappointed and betrayed and those who have betrayed and disappointed us. Regret for all that should have been and was not. But the first day of the New Year is also full of hope of things to come and the conviction that this will be THE year for us, that most of our desires and wishes and dreams will come true; that in the course of the year, we shall be that person we have resolved to be - smarter, slimmer, more savvy, more confident; a stronger and better person. And we stand tall, certain that...

This article belongs to Ezine.com - it was the first article I ever had the confidence to publish - even though everyone who knew me always said I could write. I'm happy to say it was picked up by a number of websites. And one of my sisters-in-law paid me a great compliment when i asked her if she'd read the article I emailed to her. She said yes, that it was great. Told her I wrote it. And she exclaimed that she'd thought it was from a professional writer! I was chuffed! One website says this about the author (me) "Feyisola Tinubu is a champion in this field. Feyisola has written several articles in the past on this topic." That was entirely THEIR claim, NOT mine! I have added a sentence on "ants & worms' though. Read On! 117 people dead in Bellview plane crash in Nigeria. The crash site is littered with bits of metal that used to be a plane and strips of fabric and charred body bits and pieces. It is a sad and sobering scene - the piteous wail...

Back to the grind of Lagos life. I know many people (I inclusive) moan a lot about the state of things in Nigeria and how our leaders (we need to stop referring to them as 'leaders' as they are more like bosses or rulers and maybe we will realize why they are the way they are) are crappy and how nothing works; or how the systems are so corrupt and all. Truth is, all of us, individually and collectively, on a subliminal level, aid and abet the lack of order. We are a people so used to asking the person in charge "how are we going to do it" when we have violated a rule, law or regulation. I think that Nigeria used to be the truly free country - you were free to make a U-turn or back-up on Ikorodu Road if you missed your exit - never mind the fact that, with one or two exceptions, you could take the very next exit a few hundred metres ahead and get back to where you wanted to go by taking the back roads. With the advent of LASTMA and the likes, we have become like the ...

I shall lift up my eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my help. Athens makes me understand that line even more. The hills of the mediterranean are awe inspiring. And wherever David was, there would have been hills all around. Beautifully rugged hills, set against the blue skies and the mediterranean sea. In the greenery and shrubbery, the presence of God abounds. I stand on the balcony/terrace of my room and I am awed by the sheer wonder of God's works. I remember looking out of the plane's window and being struck by the greatness of nature. Maybe because I am older, I am more appreciative of nature and how it delivers the very essence and concept of a greater being, a creator. I am unable to accept the randomness of the big bang theory - our world was not randomly created. It has purpose and it has specifications. Everything in it works together for a purpose. The only sour note in the harmony of nature is MAN. And maybe the Chimps who are so like man (or is it vice-versa...

That's my age - for all of you wondering how old I am. It's not a secret as I am not a celebrity or a socialite who has plans to forever claim to be in her "40s" even when it's obvious that she'll never again see the good side of 50! So, my birthday. I am really, really weird (by social standards) in that I like, LOVE spending my birthday alone. If I can get out of Nigeria on the day, all the better. What are my issues, do I hear someone ask? I doubt if I have any. I just really enjoy my own company and I think on my birthday, I should be allowed to be with myself! I know that my family and loved ones find it most inconveniencing, but being the beautiful people that they all are, they have taken it in their stride. So, here I am, in Athens - Vouliagmeni to be precise - at a Starwood group hotel called Arion. It is a Spa located by the seaside in beautiful Greece. Greece is my favourite country in the world. If I had to live outside Nigeria, this is where I...

I received a link to Chimamanda's talk on "A Single Story" from a friend. He said he'd found it inspiring. It was that and also mostly brought home to me the value of "exposure". We Nigerians like to use that word and I was quite impressed that Chimamanda did not once use it! When we Nigerians say a person is not "exposed" (what is the person, a roll of film that, mind you, failed to develop?) we usually mean that the person is limited in experience of the world and is unaware of sociological nuances that are important tools in the repertoire of any person who wishes to "make it" in our world! Chimamanda's talk brought to light the fact that not only Nigerians can be a faulty roll of film - "unexposed"! Americans (Northern) have always driven me crazy with the way they assume that Africa is a country and that English is a language spoken only by white people. They are not to blame as they only know what they have been told...

Loneliness. It's the weirdest thing. The times I feel the loneliest are the times I am with people. Strange, yes? When one hears the word "loneliness" you think of a solitary state of being, never associating the word "loneliness" with a number other than 1. My friends, at this point are probably nodding their heads and thinking that this just further buttresses their opinion of me, which is a collective common one, that I am weird. I rarely feel lonely when I am alone. I suppose it is because oftentimes when I am alone, it is almost always by choice. And when one is alone, there are no people around to remind you of whatever it is you are missing out on in terms of companionship and camaraderie. So, back to my feeling lonely in the midst of people. The loneliness comes upon me as the dawn of a realization sets in - I am emotionally disconnected in some important way to the vast majority of the people I may be surrounded by, and as such, they do not meet the ...

It is 12:24 UK time and I am awake, missing my kids and hubby. Ah, you wonder where I am. I am in London, in a hotel room that's a bit too cold for me even though the heating is supposed to be set to the warmest setting. Obviously, their idea of "warmest" is vastly different from my idea of "warmest"! As I speak, I am wearing a turtle-neck sweater OVER my thermal night gown, so, how "warmest" can that setting be? Okay, okay, I am always cold, I hate the winter months (WHY AM I HERE, THEN???) and I'm always the one switching off the air conditioning because it's "too cold", but, hey, I just love being warm! Why am I here? All part of adult education. I have exams in two weeks (in Lagos) so I am here for the revision course. I am almost halfway through the course but already I feel like I should just give up and go home to my babies. When I called home earlier, my daughter (who's 28 months going on 4 years) told me to come and sit d...

It's one thirty in the morning and I am awake. I am about to settle into what I hope is at least 3 hours of study. My cup of coffee (Starbucks' Viva instant coffee brand - no, it is NOT available in Lagos) sits on the table, steam swirling lazily from it. Without the coffee, my aspirations for tonight will never be realized. I love the solitude and near silence of the wee hours - except that in the recent years, that silence is gone, shattered by the incessant "pepper-grinder" sounds of the "silent" generators in the neighbourhood - ours inclusive!. Our perennial "powerless" state makes the possession of a generator a necessity. The night gives me the space I need, the sense of being alone and the time to sort through the jumble of my thoughts and ideas, dreams and aspirations, plans and hopes. And it also, usually means that neither husband nor kids are making any demands. Usually! Tonight, all of them chose to be awake AND demanding of my time an...

I thought to share this with everyone and hope that it will encourage those whose faith is flagging and give hope to those who cant seem to find any. “With God, nothing is impossible”; “There is nothing God cannot do” – these are quotes we hear said and that we use personally when faced with problems that seem insurmountable or an issue that seems irresolute. But, many of us really and truly say either one without total conviction – we do say it with hope, yes, or as an automatic and ready response to relevant situations. Only the lucky few, who have really and truly been in seemingly impossible situations and/or had despaired of help or resolution (yes, we are Christians; yes we believe in God but the truth is that we are only human and the doubt is always there, wriggling, squirming and trying to get out from under the stranglehold we have placed it under!) but were then shown the true awesomeness of God’s infinite “possibleness” can say, with the conviction of personal experience, W...

Been, Being; Their, There; Sit, Seat; Were, Where; Who's, Whose; This, These. Why do people not realize that each of these has its distinct use and that though they THINK they SOUND alike (and thinking that in itself is a result of poor diction and allocution) they really do not and under NO circumstance are they to be used interchangeably! As a friend who had to interview prospective employees with atrocious grammar and even worse writing skills said "Since when did 'been and being' become identical twins?" It is a pity that a country that claims English as it's lingua franca is full of people - youths and adults alike - who have become so inept at the use of the language that is the main form of communication among them. Our teachers/educators cannot speak the language properly and they are meant to impart knowledge and form the minds, and speech, of future generations. Our journalists write in a manner that is reminiscent of children of elementary school ag...

Today, I start a new blog. For me, this is the nearest I will get to publishing! What will this blog be about? Well, the name tells all. Everything and anything. Pet peeves and passions and everything in between. Let me introduce myself. I am a female in my 40s (that means I am between 40 and 49.9 years old!) I have 2 adorable kids (now, how many mothers do not think their kids are adorable? Even the mothers of the screaming, tantrum throwing little monster doing his or her thing in the supermarket) and a great husband (I HAVE to say he's great, yes? After all, if he's not great, what would that say about my taste, huh?) and a life that most people envy. No, I am NOT rich, but I AM wealthy - beautiful and abundant assets of peace, joy, contentment, a life blessed by God and a family that makes me believe that I must have done something wonderful at some point in my existence to have them. I say I am in my 40s but, truth be told, I feel 25 - actually, mentally, I am stuck at 25....