Loneliness
Loneliness. It's the weirdest thing. The times I feel the loneliest are the times I am with people. Strange, yes? When one hears the word "loneliness" you think of a solitary state of being, never associating the word "loneliness" with a number other than 1.
My friends, at this point are probably nodding their heads and thinking that this just further buttresses their opinion of me, which is a collective common one, that I am weird.
I rarely feel lonely when I am alone. I suppose it is because oftentimes when I am alone, it is almost always by choice. And when one is alone, there are no people around to remind you of whatever it is you are missing out on in terms of companionship and camaraderie.
So, back to my feeling lonely in the midst of people. The loneliness comes upon me as the dawn of a realization sets in - I am emotionally disconnected in some important way to the vast majority of the people I may be surrounded by, and as such, they do not meet the need of connectivity, hence the feeling of loneliness.
In London, I am surrounded by people - on the bus, on the tube, on the sidewalks - and yet I am overcome by a loneliness so powerful it brings on a crying jag - rather inconvenient when one is on the tube or on the bus. I miss my babies, my hubby, my family, my friends to whom I am CONNECTED emotionally!
What to do, what to do? Pray my departure date arrives quickly.
My friends, at this point are probably nodding their heads and thinking that this just further buttresses their opinion of me, which is a collective common one, that I am weird.
I rarely feel lonely when I am alone. I suppose it is because oftentimes when I am alone, it is almost always by choice. And when one is alone, there are no people around to remind you of whatever it is you are missing out on in terms of companionship and camaraderie.
So, back to my feeling lonely in the midst of people. The loneliness comes upon me as the dawn of a realization sets in - I am emotionally disconnected in some important way to the vast majority of the people I may be surrounded by, and as such, they do not meet the need of connectivity, hence the feeling of loneliness.
In London, I am surrounded by people - on the bus, on the tube, on the sidewalks - and yet I am overcome by a loneliness so powerful it brings on a crying jag - rather inconvenient when one is on the tube or on the bus. I miss my babies, my hubby, my family, my friends to whom I am CONNECTED emotionally!
What to do, what to do? Pray my departure date arrives quickly.
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