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Back to the grind of Lagos life. I know many people (I inclusive) moan a lot about the state of things in Nigeria and how our leaders (we need to stop referring to them as 'leaders' as they are more like bosses or rulers and maybe we will realize why they are the way they are) are crappy and how nothing works; or how the systems are so corrupt and all.
Truth is, all of us, individually and collectively, on a subliminal level, aid and abet the lack of order. We are a people so used to asking the person in charge "how are we going to do it" when we have violated a rule, law or regulation. I think that Nigeria used to be the truly free country - you were free to make a U-turn or back-up on Ikorodu Road if you missed your exit - never mind the fact that, with one or two exceptions, you could take the very next exit a few hundred metres ahead and get back to where you wanted to go by taking the back roads. With the advent of LASTMA and the likes, we have become like the rest of the world - no longer free to act as we like. Pity, aye?
And only in naija will you, as a pedestrian, have to look BOTH ways before crossing a supposed one-way street because not doing so is a life-hazard! Not only can you have cars and other mobile conveyances coming from the direction traffic should be going, they're moving at speeds that may make it impossible for them to be stopped by any law-enforcement officer (who, contrary to what you believe is just looking for some victim to fleece, since violators are always ready to settle - by the inevitable "how are we going to do it now" question). Also, most of us know that when driving on a one-way street and in the right direction, we must be on the alert for the oncoming traffic (I KNOW they should not be there) because God bless you if they run into you because you did not get out of the way for them. "Did you not see me?" is the question they scream at you as they bound aggressively out of their vehicles, coming round to your side threateningly. You, in complete and utter shock state the obvious "It's a one-way street and you should not be facing this direction". Their response? "Enh, but did you not see me or my hazard lights? Why are you Nigerians so selfish? You saw me now, ah ah. You should have moved out of the way!" That's Lagos for you.
We all, on some level, enjoy the lack of due and proper processes, the ignoring of rules and regulations, of doing the right thing even though no-one is there to tell us what to do. We all benefit in some way or another and that is why, we cannot truly change our system. We are all cohorts and co-conspirators in keeping our nation the way it is.
That being said, innately, we are not an evil people, so to speak. When I watch foreign news stations broadcast the mayhem that occurs when there is a power blackout in "civilized" societies where "law & order" usually exist; where the ratio of policemen to the populace is healthy; where their law enforcement agencies have slogans like "you can run & you can hide but for how long" or pride themselves on their doggedness and relentlessness in hunting down the criminals in their society. A few hours of darkness brings out the otherwise restrained beast in their people such that in that short period, they loot, rape, vandalize and commit as many crimes as they possibly can because they believe that the usual "eyes & arms" of the law are out of commission. Our people here commit crimes that are common to poverty stricken people and denizens of failed nations - robbery (armed and unarmed), petty thievery, fraud, even ritual murder (they sacrifice people in the hope of being rich through diabolical means). These are the standard crimes of our nationals even though our law enforcement agencies may not have any eyes, ears or limbs and we have a ratio of probably 1 policeman to almost three-quarters of a million people (maybe I exaggerate, but it seems that way) and we NEVER really have power at night (most times really!). Imagine those "civilized people" in our society!
So, despite all Naija's issues, I love it here. Maybe I like chaos; maybe ours is "organized and institutionalized chaos" that has some weird order within. Maybe. All I know is that when I am away from home for any period longer than 1 week, I miss it.
Back in the days when Murtala Mohammed International had no airconditioning (okay, they had but it never worked!) I used to welcome the heat of the airport after being away in the cold (okay, I am a cheapskate - tickets are always cheaper off-peak, which is Airline speak for "crappy-weather-abroad" time by the way) I would get off the plane into the blanketing heat of the terminal and I would grin happily - fellow disembarking passengers always gave me a wide berth! Anyway, this one time, I was so looking forward to that heat after three weeks of being an Eskimo by way of my dressing (which was 24 hours, mind you) that when I stepped out expectant of my usual blast of heat, I was thoroughly upset to find that the terminal was COLD! The airconditioners were working! Everyone was happy, relieved and excited. Not me! I was so mad, miserable and unhappy! I knew I should have been glad, but I just could not be. Crazy of me, I know. But.....
Truth is, all of us, individually and collectively, on a subliminal level, aid and abet the lack of order. We are a people so used to asking the person in charge "how are we going to do it" when we have violated a rule, law or regulation. I think that Nigeria used to be the truly free country - you were free to make a U-turn or back-up on Ikorodu Road if you missed your exit - never mind the fact that, with one or two exceptions, you could take the very next exit a few hundred metres ahead and get back to where you wanted to go by taking the back roads. With the advent of LASTMA and the likes, we have become like the rest of the world - no longer free to act as we like. Pity, aye?
And only in naija will you, as a pedestrian, have to look BOTH ways before crossing a supposed one-way street because not doing so is a life-hazard! Not only can you have cars and other mobile conveyances coming from the direction traffic should be going, they're moving at speeds that may make it impossible for them to be stopped by any law-enforcement officer (who, contrary to what you believe is just looking for some victim to fleece, since violators are always ready to settle - by the inevitable "how are we going to do it now" question). Also, most of us know that when driving on a one-way street and in the right direction, we must be on the alert for the oncoming traffic (I KNOW they should not be there) because God bless you if they run into you because you did not get out of the way for them. "Did you not see me?" is the question they scream at you as they bound aggressively out of their vehicles, coming round to your side threateningly. You, in complete and utter shock state the obvious "It's a one-way street and you should not be facing this direction". Their response? "Enh, but did you not see me or my hazard lights? Why are you Nigerians so selfish? You saw me now, ah ah. You should have moved out of the way!" That's Lagos for you.
We all, on some level, enjoy the lack of due and proper processes, the ignoring of rules and regulations, of doing the right thing even though no-one is there to tell us what to do. We all benefit in some way or another and that is why, we cannot truly change our system. We are all cohorts and co-conspirators in keeping our nation the way it is.
That being said, innately, we are not an evil people, so to speak. When I watch foreign news stations broadcast the mayhem that occurs when there is a power blackout in "civilized" societies where "law & order" usually exist; where the ratio of policemen to the populace is healthy; where their law enforcement agencies have slogans like "you can run & you can hide but for how long" or pride themselves on their doggedness and relentlessness in hunting down the criminals in their society. A few hours of darkness brings out the otherwise restrained beast in their people such that in that short period, they loot, rape, vandalize and commit as many crimes as they possibly can because they believe that the usual "eyes & arms" of the law are out of commission. Our people here commit crimes that are common to poverty stricken people and denizens of failed nations - robbery (armed and unarmed), petty thievery, fraud, even ritual murder (they sacrifice people in the hope of being rich through diabolical means). These are the standard crimes of our nationals even though our law enforcement agencies may not have any eyes, ears or limbs and we have a ratio of probably 1 policeman to almost three-quarters of a million people (maybe I exaggerate, but it seems that way) and we NEVER really have power at night (most times really!). Imagine those "civilized people" in our society!
So, despite all Naija's issues, I love it here. Maybe I like chaos; maybe ours is "organized and institutionalized chaos" that has some weird order within. Maybe. All I know is that when I am away from home for any period longer than 1 week, I miss it.
Back in the days when Murtala Mohammed International had no airconditioning (okay, they had but it never worked!) I used to welcome the heat of the airport after being away in the cold (okay, I am a cheapskate - tickets are always cheaper off-peak, which is Airline speak for "crappy-weather-abroad" time by the way) I would get off the plane into the blanketing heat of the terminal and I would grin happily - fellow disembarking passengers always gave me a wide berth! Anyway, this one time, I was so looking forward to that heat after three weeks of being an Eskimo by way of my dressing (which was 24 hours, mind you) that when I stepped out expectant of my usual blast of heat, I was thoroughly upset to find that the terminal was COLD! The airconditioners were working! Everyone was happy, relieved and excited. Not me! I was so mad, miserable and unhappy! I knew I should have been glad, but I just could not be. Crazy of me, I know. But.....
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