Opani
This is by Ovesi, brother mine. The grief & sorrow will ease, and as Yemi says, you will adjust to the "new" normal. I am beginning to understand what she meant. Love you, kid brother:
I am not sure where to start. My Father, Opani “Tuturutu” Akerele (that was his preferred moniker) passed away on August the 5th 2010. I don’t know how to talk about it. I don’t know how to begin.
I know how much I miss him. I know that a month later, I still cry myself to sleep some nights. I know that I still try to call him sometimes. I know that when I want to do something, his approval is still very important to me. I know that his text messages and voice-mails will forever be on my phones. I know that if I miss him this much my Mother misses him even more.
I have read all kinds of articles about how to deal with the loss of a loved one and I am deeply disheartened by what I have read. I am scared that one day I will not remember the sound of his voice or his laugh. If that day ever comes, and I pray it does not, I do not know how I will react.
Opani is largely responsible for the man I am and I thank him every day of my life. He taught me that life is not about me, he always told us that the measurement of your life is not so much what you achieved but what you inspired others to achieve. I aspire (and often fail) to live my life by that standard.
He was an educated man even before he went to school. He explained to me that education and literacy do not always go hand in hand. He always told us that a good education was all he had to leave us. In this he was wrong. He left us with so much more than that. I believe my siblings will agree with me that even though we went to the finest available schools (private or otherwise) our real education happened at home and around “Prof”. He showed me that money is nothing but a means to an end.
When I made the decision to go to Iraq to make a living leaving my family in the States, I told my parents I was going to Kuwait so they would not worry. When I finally came clean, Opani told me that he knew where I was and he was not worried because God was watching over all his children but that it was good I kept it from my Mom as she would worry too much.
When my daughter was born and we wanted to name her Onaivi, which we thought was a boy’s name, Opani went to the village elders and asked them if it was okay to name her that knowing fully well that their answer did not matter. When they told him it was a unisex name he called me right away and said that it was okay and he would now be able to call her that! He named all his Grandchildren and he gave them names that indicated how he felt about life and the circumstances of their birth. I can’t speak for my siblings but he named my daughter Oshomoshiomemuyin, which means “God has made me laugh”. Believe me when I tell you that it sums up the circumstances of my daughter’s birth perfectly!
I can keep going with anecdotes and such. I don’t know why I am writing this but I know that if Opani where to read it he would laugh out loud and say I am giving him too much credit. I know that he is the reason I am who I am and I miss him terribly. Opani rest in peace and may we meet again in that big classroom (with working internet, his pet peeve).
I am not sure where to start. My Father, Opani “Tuturutu” Akerele (that was his preferred moniker) passed away on August the 5th 2010. I don’t know how to talk about it. I don’t know how to begin.
I know how much I miss him. I know that a month later, I still cry myself to sleep some nights. I know that I still try to call him sometimes. I know that when I want to do something, his approval is still very important to me. I know that his text messages and voice-mails will forever be on my phones. I know that if I miss him this much my Mother misses him even more.
I have read all kinds of articles about how to deal with the loss of a loved one and I am deeply disheartened by what I have read. I am scared that one day I will not remember the sound of his voice or his laugh. If that day ever comes, and I pray it does not, I do not know how I will react.
Opani is largely responsible for the man I am and I thank him every day of my life. He taught me that life is not about me, he always told us that the measurement of your life is not so much what you achieved but what you inspired others to achieve. I aspire (and often fail) to live my life by that standard.
He was an educated man even before he went to school. He explained to me that education and literacy do not always go hand in hand. He always told us that a good education was all he had to leave us. In this he was wrong. He left us with so much more than that. I believe my siblings will agree with me that even though we went to the finest available schools (private or otherwise) our real education happened at home and around “Prof”. He showed me that money is nothing but a means to an end.
When I made the decision to go to Iraq to make a living leaving my family in the States, I told my parents I was going to Kuwait so they would not worry. When I finally came clean, Opani told me that he knew where I was and he was not worried because God was watching over all his children but that it was good I kept it from my Mom as she would worry too much.
When my daughter was born and we wanted to name her Onaivi, which we thought was a boy’s name, Opani went to the village elders and asked them if it was okay to name her that knowing fully well that their answer did not matter. When they told him it was a unisex name he called me right away and said that it was okay and he would now be able to call her that! He named all his Grandchildren and he gave them names that indicated how he felt about life and the circumstances of their birth. I can’t speak for my siblings but he named my daughter Oshomoshiomemuyin, which means “God has made me laugh”. Believe me when I tell you that it sums up the circumstances of my daughter’s birth perfectly!
I can keep going with anecdotes and such. I don’t know why I am writing this but I know that if Opani where to read it he would laugh out loud and say I am giving him too much credit. I know that he is the reason I am who I am and I miss him terribly. Opani rest in peace and may we meet again in that big classroom (with working internet, his pet peeve).
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