Talk
To my brothers and sisters - Ayo, Ovesi, Oziofu & Onimisi.
We all cannot believe that Opani is not physically here with us any longer; that we cannot pick up the phone to call him, to tease him about him missing Mummy or to just ask him how he is and listen to his anecdotes about life. In the 30 days he's left us for that one way trip we all must make, we have been in shock and consumed with a myriad of emotions - sorrow, grief, panic, fear, joy, pride, regrets, confusion and gratitude. I doubt that any of us really believed we would ever have to do without him; that a day would come when we would have to talk about him in the past tense (I am still unable to do that though); that a time would come when we would have to rely solely on what he taught us because he would not be around to advise us on what choices to make.
I know it sounds crazy, but we have to do away with the grief and the mourning. We have to remember who he was and what he would have said to us. I doubt he would want us to mourn him, or carry that sorrow and grief in our hearts but for a brief period. He'd tell us to stop crying and thank God for all He has given and will give us. God gave us Opani - to love us, care for us, teach us. He did all of those in an excellent manner.
We should think of him with joy in our hearts and gratitude in our spirits and wonder in our souls; for the gift of Opani that God bestowed on us is one that we will cherish all the days of our lives.
It is hard though, I know. I am saddened that Iman & Aman will not have Opani to tell them the stories he told me; that he will not be able to tell them tales about my escapades as a child. I remember the caps I had made for him a few weeks before he died and how the only time he wore one was to his grave. I grieve for our loss and wonder how Mummy is going to cope with his absence. I was in Igarra for the weekend and I kept expecting to hear his voice or to see him sitting on the chair watching TV or reading a newspaper. How is Mummy dealing with that every day?
In all of this though, I am filled with a fierce pride that he was my father. That because of him, I have all of you in my life and that we are the way we are. And that though he's gone from us physically, he will forever be in our hearts and in the fabric of our relationships as a family.
Ovesi, do not be disheartened by what you read; if you forget the sound of his voice, you will hear the words he spoke - in your soul. You will read something and think of him and once in a while, you will hear his laughter, clearly.
We all cannot believe that Opani is not physically here with us any longer; that we cannot pick up the phone to call him, to tease him about him missing Mummy or to just ask him how he is and listen to his anecdotes about life. In the 30 days he's left us for that one way trip we all must make, we have been in shock and consumed with a myriad of emotions - sorrow, grief, panic, fear, joy, pride, regrets, confusion and gratitude. I doubt that any of us really believed we would ever have to do without him; that a day would come when we would have to talk about him in the past tense (I am still unable to do that though); that a time would come when we would have to rely solely on what he taught us because he would not be around to advise us on what choices to make.
I know it sounds crazy, but we have to do away with the grief and the mourning. We have to remember who he was and what he would have said to us. I doubt he would want us to mourn him, or carry that sorrow and grief in our hearts but for a brief period. He'd tell us to stop crying and thank God for all He has given and will give us. God gave us Opani - to love us, care for us, teach us. He did all of those in an excellent manner.
We should think of him with joy in our hearts and gratitude in our spirits and wonder in our souls; for the gift of Opani that God bestowed on us is one that we will cherish all the days of our lives.
It is hard though, I know. I am saddened that Iman & Aman will not have Opani to tell them the stories he told me; that he will not be able to tell them tales about my escapades as a child. I remember the caps I had made for him a few weeks before he died and how the only time he wore one was to his grave. I grieve for our loss and wonder how Mummy is going to cope with his absence. I was in Igarra for the weekend and I kept expecting to hear his voice or to see him sitting on the chair watching TV or reading a newspaper. How is Mummy dealing with that every day?
In all of this though, I am filled with a fierce pride that he was my father. That because of him, I have all of you in my life and that we are the way we are. And that though he's gone from us physically, he will forever be in our hearts and in the fabric of our relationships as a family.
Ovesi, do not be disheartened by what you read; if you forget the sound of his voice, you will hear the words he spoke - in your soul. You will read something and think of him and once in a while, you will hear his laughter, clearly.
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