Adieu Opani
This is from my big sister, Ayopo. Love you Sis. It is well!!!
Today, or shall I say tonight, the 28th of August makes it 23 days since my daddy passed away. It is interesting how I refer to my father as daddy. While he was alive I only ever thought of him as Opani. Now, I think of him as daddy, a term often used by very young children to refer to their father.
It is still like a nightmare to me you know. Opani, who defined my perception of males and relationships first before anyone else, is gone. My father was indeed (and in my mind will always be) a very special man. My first instinct when I remember he is no more physically here is still panic. How can it be? The vibrant, brilliant, kind-hearted, selfless disciplinarian who bore and raised me is no more.
He taught us all about values. Honor, humility, honesty, courage and a kindness that is still unmatched today. He taught us early that you have to be secure in yourself to add value to any life, yours or someone else’s. He taught us that we are all equals in God’s eyes, regardless of “station” and as such it should be the same with us as humans.
The only one lucky enough to get an education in his family (of 6 brothers and 1 sister), he made it his mission and primary responsibility to ensure as many of his children, nephews and nieces as possible got an education. Additionally, he helped anyone who showed an interest in getting an education. He always believed that the only lasting thing you could give a person is a sound education. Every single person who came in contact with him was “touched” that way. My father was indeed a paragon. He had a heart of Gold and a fierce determination to “do his bit” in this world. In his way, he impacted countless lives during his sojourn on earth. Many will testify to his special ability to encourage and motivate all who wanted to improve themselves.
That is not to say he was perfect, but even his imperfections fill my heart with tenderness. Like all strict fathers, he tended to go overboard. On hindsight, it was probably necessary because my siblings and I were headstrong, stubborn and big rascals!! We needed a firm hand. Being a professor and renowned teacher, discipline came naturally to him. He walked the talk, lived by example and set an example that is very hard to live up to.
My father left us his natural children and all the others he adopted during the course of his life, a legacy that will continue to live on long after he is gone.
For me, he set the standards against which I will always measure men and relationships. To the day he died, he and my mother had a marriage so strong, my eyes water when I think of it. They were a unit. All the storms of life that came their way only made them stronger. They were two peas in a pod. As they say, 5 and 6. Devastated as I am, I shudder to think what my mom is going through now. Her best friend, lover and partner for life, gone.
Somehow, I never thought I’d have to live without him. Silly I know, but he has always been such a strong, steady part of my life. My security against the pains and pitfalls of this earthly life, my guardian, my protector, the only man who I knew loved me no matter what. Through all the highs and lows of my life so far, he has been there. My question is, what will I do without him? To whom will I turn, when I need that brand of honesty mixed with love that only he gave me? When will the sense of panic and fear stop, when I look for him and cannot find him? When will the deep sorrow I now feel ease?
I have tried and I am still trying very hard to get it together, but I get lost, whilst trying. I miss him more than I ever imagined. His passing has devastated me. After I got married and left the shores of Nigeria, I never saw him alive again. I feel he eased me into my marriage knowing he was leaving me. Oh, Opani, you didn’t even say goodbye. . . .
That is the hardest part, you know, not saying goodbye. I believe that the bond forged in this lifetime is an eternal one and that we will surely meet again. Until then my dearest Opani, God be with you. I pray that whilst I am on earth, I will live up to the full potential of his dreams for me and that the values he has instilled in me will continue to guide me till we meet again. I also pray that the sorrow and ache I feel in my spirit will ease.
Adieu!
Today, or shall I say tonight, the 28th of August makes it 23 days since my daddy passed away. It is interesting how I refer to my father as daddy. While he was alive I only ever thought of him as Opani. Now, I think of him as daddy, a term often used by very young children to refer to their father.
It is still like a nightmare to me you know. Opani, who defined my perception of males and relationships first before anyone else, is gone. My father was indeed (and in my mind will always be) a very special man. My first instinct when I remember he is no more physically here is still panic. How can it be? The vibrant, brilliant, kind-hearted, selfless disciplinarian who bore and raised me is no more.
He taught us all about values. Honor, humility, honesty, courage and a kindness that is still unmatched today. He taught us early that you have to be secure in yourself to add value to any life, yours or someone else’s. He taught us that we are all equals in God’s eyes, regardless of “station” and as such it should be the same with us as humans.
The only one lucky enough to get an education in his family (of 6 brothers and 1 sister), he made it his mission and primary responsibility to ensure as many of his children, nephews and nieces as possible got an education. Additionally, he helped anyone who showed an interest in getting an education. He always believed that the only lasting thing you could give a person is a sound education. Every single person who came in contact with him was “touched” that way. My father was indeed a paragon. He had a heart of Gold and a fierce determination to “do his bit” in this world. In his way, he impacted countless lives during his sojourn on earth. Many will testify to his special ability to encourage and motivate all who wanted to improve themselves.
That is not to say he was perfect, but even his imperfections fill my heart with tenderness. Like all strict fathers, he tended to go overboard. On hindsight, it was probably necessary because my siblings and I were headstrong, stubborn and big rascals!! We needed a firm hand. Being a professor and renowned teacher, discipline came naturally to him. He walked the talk, lived by example and set an example that is very hard to live up to.
My father left us his natural children and all the others he adopted during the course of his life, a legacy that will continue to live on long after he is gone.
For me, he set the standards against which I will always measure men and relationships. To the day he died, he and my mother had a marriage so strong, my eyes water when I think of it. They were a unit. All the storms of life that came their way only made them stronger. They were two peas in a pod. As they say, 5 and 6. Devastated as I am, I shudder to think what my mom is going through now. Her best friend, lover and partner for life, gone.
Somehow, I never thought I’d have to live without him. Silly I know, but he has always been such a strong, steady part of my life. My security against the pains and pitfalls of this earthly life, my guardian, my protector, the only man who I knew loved me no matter what. Through all the highs and lows of my life so far, he has been there. My question is, what will I do without him? To whom will I turn, when I need that brand of honesty mixed with love that only he gave me? When will the sense of panic and fear stop, when I look for him and cannot find him? When will the deep sorrow I now feel ease?
I have tried and I am still trying very hard to get it together, but I get lost, whilst trying. I miss him more than I ever imagined. His passing has devastated me. After I got married and left the shores of Nigeria, I never saw him alive again. I feel he eased me into my marriage knowing he was leaving me. Oh, Opani, you didn’t even say goodbye. . . .
That is the hardest part, you know, not saying goodbye. I believe that the bond forged in this lifetime is an eternal one and that we will surely meet again. Until then my dearest Opani, God be with you. I pray that whilst I am on earth, I will live up to the full potential of his dreams for me and that the values he has instilled in me will continue to guide me till we meet again. I also pray that the sorrow and ache I feel in my spirit will ease.
Adieu!
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