Everything & Anything

Usually, on my birthday, I switch off my phone. Yes. No calls, no texts, no BBMs, Whatsapps or whatever instant messaging service that's in use. No emails. NOTHING. I am cut off from the world for the better part of a day. I do not go online either. Usually. For the past twelve odd years, that I have done. And on at least seven of my last birthdays, I have been "away" - mostly by design. It is not that I do not celebrate my birthdays - I do - but not in the conventional way. I don't do cakes - I remember my then two-year old daughter looking around the dining area and living room and asking "Mummy, where is your birthday?" and me telling her that it was "birthday cake" and that Mummy didn't do birthday cakes. She gave me a measured stare, the only way a two-year old can, and told me in a very stern voice "Mummy, when it's MY birthday, you MUST do cake, okay?" and marched back upstairs with what I swear was a shake of her head,...

When I was about eight years old, I found out that the past tense of "hang" was not only "hung" but "hanged" as well. I don't remember the details, but it was in the course of a conversation with my late father. He said something about someone being hanged. And I asked if he did not mean to say that the person was "hung". He said, no, he did not mean to say "hung" because it would not, in this case be correct. Not correct? Why? I asked, a bit confused. I was certain I had not heard or read the word "hanged" before. My father just said that when used in reference to the act of hanging a human being, the correct tense was "hanged". I wondered if that applied to animals too. He laughed and said I needed to find that out for myself. I accepted it but my curiosity was not fully satisfied then, nor is it now and, even after trolling through different internet explanations, I still do not know if it would be "han...

What comes to mind when we hear the word "cheerleader"? Pretty & perky young high school or college girls in extra-short flouncy skirts or minuscule shorts with pom-pons waving in the air, their sole purpose to cheer on whatever sports team they support with shouts and songs, boosting morale, encouraging the efforts, win or lose. At least, that's the picture I get when I hear the word. A cheerleader is - according to one Merriam-Webster.com definition -  a person who encourages other people to do or support something. That's a great person to have in your life and I believe we all need one. Or two. Or three, Lol! Having a cheerleader in your life is important, don't you think? Someone who encourages you, lifts your flagging spirit and lights a fire of determination in you, gets you to keep going even when it seems you have lost or are losing the game, while you are taking part in this sport called life with it's ever-changing rules. Someone who ...

I have been suffering from "blogger's block" on one hand and an ideas over-load on the other. Does not make much sense, right? Let me explain - there are so many ideas and topics that pop into my mind, at least 10 a day (the over-load). But as quickly as they pop in, they pop out because I do not get past writing more than two sentences before the idea/subject is discarded - why? I have no clue; I just am not able to write more than two sentences before my thoughts shut down, the flow of words dried up like a stream in a drought! I finally am able to go beyond the two sentences, thanks to "I Am Jazz". I have been getting a "broadcast" on the program "I am Jazz" from different people - friends on my Blackberry contact list, not-so-friends on my Whatsapp (can Whatsapp creators/administrators please come up with a more private platform? Anyone with your phone number thinks it is okay to send you messages and broadcasts or comments on whate...

I hope and believe that somehow, you'll read this. That somehow, you see us, even though we don't and can't see you. Somehow. I hope and must believe that we will all meet up again in the house of the Lord. It's been five years since you left. Did you say goodbye? I think you did, even though we did not realize that's what it was. The talk, five months before, about where you wanted to be buried. Saying that your work here was more or less done. Insisting on marking your students' scripts immediately even though you had weeks to get through them. Telling us to hold off on something that had been important and necessary. Little goodbyes. Wish we had seen them for what they were. But, we still would not have been prepared or ready to let you go. And on July 28, the event that started the journey of your exit from this plane on August 5. One week was all we had. Seeing you in Intensive Care, I knew you were leaving us. Hard to accept but... It seems like...

Listening to Michael Jackson's "Heal the World" always makes me question if I am doing enough to give back - making the world a better place, so to speak. Every day, we see and sometimes meet people who are in need - financial, emotional, psychological. Every day we walk past or ignore these needy fellow members of the human race. We look away hurriedly, sometimes guiltily. We give the less fortunate a passing thought if they are lucky, sometimes remembering to be thankful we are not in that condition, other times not caring really. After all, it is not your fault that they are not as fortunate as you are, is it? I believe in "passing it on" - God has blessed me, and He needs me to bless someone else. I believe in it, but I do not always do it. For various reasons - I'm feeling selfish, I am not in a good place at that particular time and thinking "I too need help nah!" or I am being a bit judgmental... various reasons. But, I believe. I believ...

Change. Some of us firmly believe that people can change, that we can change others in our lives. Others believe that humans can't really change. There are some who waver between these extremes. Everyone who makes New Year Resolutions or Birthday resolutions is a believer in the possibility of change. After all, are resolutions not about changing something about your person? Me? I think humans are  capable  of change. By "capable" I mean that humans possess the  ability to change if they so wished.  Whether they will or wish to or believe they can change is an entirely different thing. Change cannot be superficial or just external - it has to come from within to be sustainable and/or permanent. Wanting to go from a US 14 dress size to a US 6 dress size is certainly doable - diet & exercise or even liposuction/nips & tucks will get you there. But, if you have not internally decided to change your way of life, of thinking about food and chosen to ALWAYS ea...

Hey everyone. I have been fighting a bout of the flu so, just able to do Part 2. I hope Part 1 helped someone! So... Air travel used to be such fun for me. I would take the most convoluted route possible so I could visit as many airports possible, buy a fridge magnet for that country (after all, technically, I have visited that country nah! so what if I did not leave the airport?) and wander through the airport shops wondering how Murtala Muhammed Airport would look all glommed up. It also helped me decide which airports to avoid, by the way. Like Charles de Gaulle Airport - cold as a frozen hell! That was way back when, before the 9/11 Twin Tower attacks. That day heralded a change in airport travel processing that simultaneously made air travel safer and extremely bothersome. Travelling in the cold months is the worst - you're all bundled up, you know? And then at airport security, you're undressing. Everything comes off. I knew, at the beginning, that what they'd ...

Today, my baby turns eight. I still have vivid memories of her as a baby. A baby who, even then was very strong willed, who made her displeasure known very loudly. She made me know that babies could get angry. That they too had emotions and mood swings. That babies did not just eat, poop and sleep. From the first moment, the bond between us was profound. I know they talk about fathers and their daughters and mine has hers lovingly wrapped round her little finger, but my daughter and I have a connection that is certainly heaven-sent. She knows, even when I try to shield her from my moods, she knows when I am sad, hurt or upset. As a baby, she would just snuggle in my arms and stare into my face, cooing quietly, as if to say "Don't worry Mummy, I'm here." As a toddler, she would just hug me and kiss me and say "Okay Mummy?" much the same way I'd hug and kiss her when she was upset. Now she comes to me and says "Don't be sad Mummy, okay? I love...

It's that time of the year. Vacation time! Yayyy!! Or is it "Oh No!"? Many of us will be boarding flights to some destination, where we hope to get some rest, relaxation and peace. Hope to. For mothers of young children, that may be a vain hope. Especially since many of our daddies seem to have meetings that prevent them from traveling on the same day with us. Or even when they are with us, they are conveniently seated away from the action hub! Convenient, yes? Beginning with the flight from home, we are already frazzled. Excited children, bored children, badly behaved children. Our children belong to one or more of these categories. Travelling with young kids can be trying but the stress can be minimized, believe it or not. I remember being so terrified at the thought of traveling with my two and a half year old daughter and her 14-month old brother that I spent a whole day researching ways to minimize the stress and prevent toddler meltdowns! I knew my daughter wa...

Do you know where you're going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? Where are you going to? Do you know? Do you get what you're hoping for? When you look behind and there's no open doors. What are you hoping for? Do you know? Diana Ross asks those questions in one of her songs. The song makes me wonder if I really know where I am going. And if and when I get what I'd been hoping for, is it what I really wanted and if it is not, is there a way of going back (when you look behind and there's no open doors - YUP!!) I must say, personally, I no longer have a definite idea of where I am going to. I used to though. I can say I know where I WANT to go, but that I KNOW for sure? I cannot say that, not anymore. See, we have all these plans for ourselves, for our lives, for our loved (and unloved, heh heh heh!) ones. Go to school (or get an education - different from going to school o!) get married (or not), have kids (or not), be rich (don'...

Excerpt from a BB Group I'm a member of: WHAT A WEEK!  *************** ● Adultery is legalized in South Africa by the Constitutional Court ● Gay marriage is legalized by the U.S.  Supreme Court.  ● Germany’s National Ethics Council has called for an end to the criminalisation of incest between siblings after examining the case of a man who had four children with his sister.  ● Japanese court rules"Adultery is Ok if its for business  purpose!" ALL IN ONE WEEK! I find these turn of events and our reactions to it interesting.  Below is my post and views on the matters. Nothing is new under the sun! Let's begin with incest - it is wrong. The Bible forbids marriage between siblings I believe. However, after the Biblical flooding and cleansing of the earth, the earth had to be repopulated by an incestuous relationship so.... For the Gay matter, again, ain't nothing new under the sun. Everybody knows of Sodom and Gomor...

Sociogram - a word I coined from "Social Media" and "Programme." I like to think I am "techy" and "in" with the latest gadgets and innovations. I believe in technology - I can be quite lazy so anything that will make my life easier is always welcome! I must confess though, that keeping up with the social media trends has been a real chore for me. I appreciate the whole global village thing and how everyone is in everyone's business and how we have taken exhibitionism and voyeurism to heights hitherto unimagined. But I just do not think that my life is anyone's business or that anyone is or should be THAT interested in my business or wants to hear about my mundane or otherwise existence! With Twitter, I can share my cough with the whole world in a millisecond. With Instagram, I could probably magnify a microscopic snapshot of the germs from when I coughed and share with the world. And I would have followers too, plenty. You see, huma...

Will I be a terribly shallow person if I said I liked selfies? Of myself, of course. I must say, a lot of preparation goes into a selfie shot. My fellow Selfians know what I mean. You are all dolled up, the dolling up a careful process - the make up must be just right, the hair just so. The arch of your eyebrows, if not natural, then skillfully pencilled in must be perfect. There's a particular look you want to achieve - beautiful (at least in your eyes) and carelessly poised. Yes, carelessly poised, two very unlikely cohorts but there you have them. Because, really, that's what Selfie's are about. Careless poise, looking like you just woke up pretty, made up and so very cute. My phone picture folder is full of selfies. Smiling, straight-faced, looking happy, haughty, serious. But in all of them I look quite nice, even if I say so myself. Come on, who doesn't get a lift from seeing a beautiful photo of themselves? Never mind if anyone else disagrees with how you ...

I have found my posts spectacularly vapid, heh heh heh. Bloggers block or something. Anyway, the LGBT thing has had me wondering. LGBT - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender, right? An "initialism", according to wikipedia. First time I have come across that word. Yep, of course I am going to look it up, investigate its origins, how it is used and why it was used in place of maybe "acronym," or why.....okay, I digress. Forgive me. I believe I have a touch of ADD (an ACRONYM for Attention Deficit Disorder, without the "Hyper") and that makes me a bit unfocused and....okay, okay. Back to LGBT. I wonder why it isn't just Homosexuals, Bisexuals and Transgender - HBT or HoBiT? Ah, well, HBT sounds like some hormone therapy and HoBiT just brings to mind short, clumpy people with disproportionately large feet walking barefoot like Bilbo Baggins. There's enough prejudice without adding the comic factor to the whole thing. But, isn't a lesbian gay...

It's Monday again, the beginning of the week for those of us in the Western World. Wishing you a wonderful week. Words are wonderful things. In any language, they convey a gamut of emotions and, strung together, express so much. Do you have a favourite word or two? I have several. I am fascinated by words. How one word can mean at several different and unrelated things - like how "Rake" can mean a dissolute person or a libertine or a garden implement, or ransack or scrape, or glance over rapidly or an inclination from the horizontal (a slope) or the overhang of a ship's bow or stern! One word, several meanings. I am also taken by how words sound and how they are spelled - encyclopaedia or encyclopedia, according to the Americans. I think my Dad is to blame for my fascination with words. As an 8 year old, he engaged me in his version of spelling bees. I learned that words ending with "-gue" had the "ue" silent and that the Americans discarded ...

A churning rage, Dangerous. An eruption of epic proportions, Peace it may bring. A glorious unleashing of the beast within, To let it roar, just once. Giving in to the darkness. But, what more? Pain? Sorrow? The regret of words uttered, Unfettered, unretractable. What to do with the rage? Where to ground the spikes of burning currents, Safely so it does no harm? You want it to sear, but only briefly. To hurt but only fleetingly. Neither possible, For control is fragile. What to do? What to do?

Grief is an emotion we have or will experience at some point in our lives. Grief over people and, maybe, of things lost. What is grief, really? It, according to Merriam-Webster online, can be "deep sadness caused especially by someone's death", "a cause of deep sadness", or "trouble or annoyance". The first definition, in my opinion, should be extended to include the death of something. But, thinking about the second definition, I wonder if that is not a more  complete and exhaustive application of the word. If defining grief as "a cause of deep sadness" does not  cover the emotion evoked by the death of a loved one, the loss of something precious, a missed opportunity, a mishap, a regrettable choice or even the actions of a person dear to you, then I do not know what does. Somehow its synonyms - anguish, sorrow, affliction, heartache, heartbreak, sorriness, woe - do not quite seem to capture the totality and range the word encompasses. H...

Five years ago, my father passed on. I still miss him. Some days, it does seem like five years. Time really has flown and the sense of loss is not too great: I can think of him, smile and imagine him having really animated discussions, with every heavenly being he meets, on every topic in existence on his side of eternity. Other days though, time does not seem to have gone anywhere and the sense of loss is starkly fresh, a piece of me recently gouged out and just the thought of him brings pain so sharp it hurts to breathe. But this piece is not about pain. Five years ago, a month after my Dad passed on, I had to bring my cousin to his college in the U.S. - his Mom, my maternal aunt, couldn't take him as the available date for her visa application interview was a month too late. I remember me and my young cousin - still 4 months shy of 16 - traipsing along the streets of the Drexel Campus, getting him registered, me trying not to argue with the College staff who said he needed to...

Do you have a particular quote that resonates deeply with you? A quote that has been a source of hope, that calms you in troubling times, that serves as a guide in this difficult and trying journey called life? Or that you just love for no other reason that you love it? It may have been coined by you; it might be a famous saying, whose origin is lost - or not - author is known - maybe long dead, maybe not - or unknown; a quote from a religious book. It does not matter really. You have a quote. It has become your mantra, your lifeline, your go-to words when things seem shaky. My quote I stumbled upon by chance and at a time when I needed an anchor in my uncertain world, a time when I wondered if the universe wasn't conniving to ensure nothing went right and whatever was right would go wrong. I found it in the pages of a book that was part of a series. A quote from the Bible. And though I am Christian and should have been familiar with my Bible (I'm still not, unfortunately) I...

A friend and I were talking about "disappointment" and drew my attention to the excerpt below where the American First Lady said her husband had never disappointed her in terms of his core values. She's either being honest or she is, as loads of couples do, presenting a postcard picture of her husband. (An aside - did you know that "disappoint" in old English was used to mean "to remove from" as in "the newly appointed minister was disappointed  from his post." Hmm, if we could disappoint those who disappoint us...) And that got me to thinking about how many people can honestly say that about their spouses or their spouses can say that about them. This is not about the annoyances, irritations and "really?" moments in the normal, balanced and even loving marriages, but about being true to and retaining the basic tenets (positive o!) that one has. It is true that many people start their adult lives with idealisms and dreams, w...

I'm curious. Not too many adults will admit - at least not in polite company - to watching or reading erotica or porn. Why is that? Does erotica or porn (the nomenclature is dependent on the point of view; My Mom feels Victoria Secrets Lingerie catalogs are "a bit pornographic," Lol!) serve any positive purpose or not? SHOULD it serve any purpose? Is it meant to be a dirty little pastime, hidden from even your partner (how do you know that said partner doesn't have the same...erm...reading preferences?) Or can it serve as a handbook or guide to, ahem, greater heights? I suspect many people would like to act like they do not have sex or that they even like sex, especially members of the feminine gender. In some dim, long past age, a woman who dared to be honest or open about her liking the sexual act was branded a hussy, shameless, useless and, of easy virtue! Ever notice how a lot of adults - even the married - act when a sexually explicit scene comes up in a movi...

How do we cope with life? With the curveballs it throws at us, sometimes gently; other times so viciously, it knocks you to your knees? At those times that the figure of speech "when it rains, it pours" does not even begin to describe the deluge of the things you have got going on? How do you cope? Do you let life get you down? Are you all melancholy and sad and whiny? Does it make you want to just lay down and die: or at the very least, stick your butt out for life to give you a good whipping, after which you go, whimpering, into some dark place to have a pity party for the rest of your natural life? Become a "used to be"? Or, do you grab the curveball out of the air and toss it back, the action fierce enough to make "life" think again about daring to toss that curveball, or any other, your way again any time soon? When knocked down, do you defiantly get back up, screaming - and proudly too - that come what may, nothing is going to keep you down?...

I AM a little crazy.  A bit different in my outlook, non-conformist. "Weird" is a fairly accurate adjective for me. And I am okay with it. What's wrong with being ME? What is wrong with being a little different, even a little crazy? I know, civilizations and societies depend on conformity and uniformity in behavior  to thrive and continue to exist but imagine if everyone were the same? A monochromatic universe, with everyone thinking the same thoughts, decked in the same clothing & colors, where "diversity" would be an alien concept. Imagine a world where everyone liked or disliked the same things, had no divergent thought and there was only one doctrine. It would be great, do you think? No wars - wars are caused by different people wanting and believing in different things. In this monochromatically unified world, no such thing! There would be no infidelity - every male would look and act the same as would every woman. And remember, "diversity...

Death is inevitable. The one sure thing. Yet, we almost always are unprepared for it - ours or anyone else's. The passing of a loved one always brings grief, a sense of loss. And no matter what our beliefs are, we do wonder about the "other" side and hope that our loved ones are "with Jesus," "in the bosom of the Lord." "in Paradise," "with Allah," or wherever we believe is the best place to be on that side of eternity. Satanists and Devil worshippers will probably hope their loved ones are in hell - and they'd mean that in the best way! Christianity, Islam & Judaism - Monotheist religions, all three descend from the same source I think - teach the existence of Heaven & Hell. The Catholic - the original Christians - believe in Purgatory (though I still cannot understand where that came from - I do not recall seeing it anywhere in the Bible. But it is a good concept.) I guess we can include Satanism as a monotheist reli...